Monthly Archives: July 2018

Love and Respect Yourself First

How do you create love and respect in a relationship when the other person isn’t supporting the process? If you’re like most people, you care a great deal about the people you’re in some kind of relationship with. You might want to be compassionate and be able to listen to them in a caring way, but it might seem like the other person isn’t trying to help the situation or that they’re being negative or interacting in less than productive ways. Does any of this sound familiar? If so you’re probably feeling confused, frustrated, and perhaps even guilty about not being able to be nicer to this person you care about.

Misunderstanding compassion

We believe these feelings come from misunderstanding the true meanings of compassion and caring. Here’s what we mean: in many people’s minds empathy and compassion are often associated with self-sacrifice or selflessness. People think that if you are a compassionate person you ALWAYS behave compassionately and are able to listen caringly – no matter how you feel. This can be especially difficult when embroiled in a relationship that is creating hurt feelings and other kinds of emotional pain.

The notion that one should be selfless and just sacrifice their feelings for the sake of getting along is far from the truth as we see it. Most people want to cultivate compassion and learn empathic listening to enhance their relationships, to create closeness and understanding. This can only happen when you actually want to do this, when empathizing with the other person is the most wonderful thing you can imagine doing in that moment.

Also, empathy is not just something we offer other people. We find that many people don’t understand how to use self-empathy – listening caringly to yourself. Yet it’s a vital ingredient in learning to understand yourself in order to stay true to what’s most important to you. And these are essential building blocks for creating closeness and understanding with others.

Empathy is not always beneficial

If you attempt to listen empathically to another person when you would much rather be doing something else, two things are likely to happen. First, you’ll probably feel resentment and become judgmental about that person and their behavior. This happens because you’re not being honest with yourself; you’d rather be doing something else but because of some idea that you should listen compassionately to this person no matter what, you go against your own desires.

When this happens, it is easy to begin blaming them for the lack of happiness you feel with thoughts such as, if they would only … stop complaining, think positively, get a different job, stop being so negative, get some friends … or any number of other ideas you believe would help the relationship.

Second, whenever you listen to someone with these kinds of negative thoughts running around in your head, they are sure to detect the resentment and judgmental attitude sooner or later. This will create just the opposite of the understanding and closeness you hope for and will continue to tear down any hope of a healthy, happy relationship.

Following, NOT sacrificing, your feelings

In dealing with a situation like this start by giving yourself permission NOT to empathize, not to just throw your emotional pain out the window in the spirit of self sacrifice. Be honest with yourself about how you feel and what’s most important to you in each moment. Never attempt to be empathetic unless it’s the most wonderful thing you can imagine doing in that moment.

We suggest you start using your emotions as your guide in knowing when to empathize and when to step away. Being true to what would give you joy in the moment is one of the most important first steps you can take not only to get along, but to create the closeness and understanding you want.

When you begin to be more honest with yourself about how you are and what you want, it’s easier to accept others as they are. This is the key to saving your relationship if it’s lacking love and respect. Practicing this requires many more understandings and skills than we can go into here. However, we would like to offer you two practical exercises we believe will improve a situation in which one party is not able to cooperate in the way you want them to.

Exercise One:
Since we’re positive that what you focus your attention on grows, we recommend you begin making lists of the other party’s positive qualities, the things you enjoy about them, what you are grateful for about them. These can be things from the past or present, and nothing is too small to include.

When you’ve completed the initial list, any time you feel uncomfortable or hear yourself beginning to judge the other person, take out your list and read it. When you’re done reading it, add at least one more thing to the list.

Exercise Two:
Cultivate more joy in your life. To do this you must be very clear about what is most important to you–what you value most deeply in specific situations–what qualities bring joy to your life. Once you do this investigation, narrowed your list of values down to the three qualities that would bring you the most joy in your current situation, come up with at least two things that you can start doing right now that will help you experience more of these qualities in your life.

For example, if you do the values investigation and find that connection with people brings you a lot of joy, you might come up with a list of friends you can call when you’re not able to get the quality of connection you want from the troubling relationship. If you find that play and exercise are important, plan ways you can have more play or exercise with your children or friends.

This shift in your relationship starts when you realize that your happiness does not depend on others’ actions and that you can stay true to yourself and find alternative ways to experience what you value. We are confident that this shift will help you have less resentment and dissatisfaction, will greatly improve your ability to be compassionate and listen empathically, and boost the love and respect of experience in all your relationships.

So let’s recap:
1. Pay more attention to how you are and what you want most (Practice Self Empathy).
2. Focus more on what you can be grateful for about the other party.
3. Take responsibility for bringing the qualities that cultivate joy into your life.

Healing Family Relationships

Bringing healing to family relationships can be one of the most difficult aspects of the spiritual healing process. The reason for this is that we choose to incarnate within our specific families for the purpose of healing and growth, which often challenges us deeply to the core of our being. For many of us it may feel as though healing is exactly the opposite of what we are receiving with our families, as we endure the difficulties and limitations of our relationships with our parents and siblings.

Before incarnating, we choose families which can bring to the surface specific issues and themes that our soul wishes to explore, learn about and heal. Often these issues are challenging and bring to the surface discomfort that we would prefer go avoid rather than face. Some people deal with this discomfort by placing blame on their parents or the situation they were born into, which provides a temporary outlet for the emotional pain they have experienced, but ultimately prevents the free flow of love, light and healing in the heart.

As we grow personally and spiritually, there comes a time when we are called to release ourselves from the emotional pain we have carried from our childhood. There are steps in this process, which may taker a shorter or longer time, or which may involve many lifetimes of learning.

The first step we take is to become conscious of the pain we are carrying. If we have repressed these feelings, they will emerge when we are ready to face them. Sometimes an event such as an illness or a loss can illuminate feelings we have buried or forgotten. Once we become conscious of the pain and allow ourselves to simply feel it, healing can begin. Being with the pain, and bringing it before God is an essential part of the process. In this way we are not alone, as the divine Creator who is All sees, hears and feels with us. This can be done with prayer, intention, meditation, creative expression, or any way that resonates.

Once we have become more conscious of the pain we carry, the next step involves the willingness to let go of our pain. Though on the surface it may seem strange to want to hold onto pain, there are many deep emotions that can become entrenched within us, and wrapped around our sense of self. We unconsciously hold on to the pain, because it is all we have ever known. For example, if we are carrying anger, hurt or betrayal, we are asked to forgive and to move on. If we were the victim of abuse or neglect, we are asked to let go of our anger, and our entitlement to be angry. This part of the process cannot be rushed, which is why it is so important to be willing to feel our emotions fully first. Once this happens, the next step of healing naturally unfolds.

Once we have traversed these steps of becoming conscious, feeling our pain, and being willing to let it go, then we are fully available to receive a deep and complete healing. As we voluntarily empty ourselves of those things we’ve been holding onto, more of God’s love and light can enter our heart, mind and body. The pathways of life begin to open up and reveal new directions, new possibilities, and new choices. Our hearts begin to open and love blossoms, forgiveness becomes a way of being, and spiritual awareness awakens within us. These are the gifts that come through healing family relationships, a heart full of love and trust, unencumbered by the pain of the past.

Is There an Anger Problem in Your Relationship?

Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But
to be angry with the right person, to the right
degree, at the right time, for the right purpose
and in the right way… that is not easy.
-Aristotle

For around three years, my husband and I have participated in a couples’ enrichment program. As members of the core team, I was misguided in thinking our sole responsibility would be to share our experience, strength and hope. We were additionally required to dissect our own relationship in areas of communication, pinpoint our need for growth and apply the program’s tools to slowly move forward. (Ouch!) The lesson on anger was an unavoidable hot topic that Scott and I had wrestled with over the years. Many of our worst memories from those hostile times had been brushed under the rug, taking the opportunity for growth and healing with them.

In sharing a brief synopsis of our dealings with anger, I’ll be stepping out on a limb in an effort to relate to those with similar struggles. We have been lucky to encounter people who could guide us forward and teach us tools. Yes, most couples fight; within reason, disagreeing can be quite useful in conflict resolution and moving on to healthy decision-making. However, anger can also be a toxic, painful, heartbreaking practice that strips away at any positive emotional foundation a couple shares. The damage burrows deeper than the initial wrongdoing ever would have had the power to do. Knowing this from experience, I would like to touch on what we have learned. Most importantly: Left unaddressed, anger has the power to take from us everything that we treasure.

There are two identifiable extremes when dealing with anger, neither of which is healthy. One person may choose to hold in or ‘stuff’ their feelings to avoid conflict or keep the peace. Another, having little ability to take that route, might let loose, blow up, saying and doing things they will later regret. Men and women can vacillate between the two and couples can include any combination of these behaviors.

It is important to note that anger is an emotion which, like all emotions, is neither right nor wrong; it is the behavior that accompanies it that can be unacceptable. So, learning to deal with anger in a healthy way was something we had to be taught. We have come a long way over the years; but, this is where we began…

In my adult life, I’ve never been a stuffer. I learned early on in my relationships, men would prefer I quiet down. For them, the silent treatment would have been a blessing, so the rebel in me embraced the opposite behavior. When a situation erupted, I would lash out verbally, throw things, slam doors and take off in the car, tires squealing. Over the years, working on myself in a 12 step program toned that down… slowly. Early on when things blew up with Scott, I would angrily say things like, “Are you #%$*& kidding me? That’s a bunch of &#@%}! You’re nothing but a %*&@! I’m sick of your #@%$!” Words that cut and scar, drive away or infuriate beyond measure.

Seething anger on the verge of explosion has a life of its own. Did you ever look into the eyes of a man and know/feel that he really wanted to hit you? I mean knock you out??? Some men will; some men would never. In my younger years, I had been in relationships with both. Without shouldering total blame, even I realized that I was the common denominator. There was something about the way I communicated that drove men insane! If I wanted to partner with Scott in a long-term, loving relationship, it was up to me to honestly discover what that was.

For starters, I could never keep my mouth shut. If an angry thought popped into my head, it spewed out of my mouth like dragon fire… no filter, no caution… forget counting to ten! Cleaning up my mouth was a good place to start. A man once told me, “Cussing is a crutch for conversational cripples.” Ouch!! But there was truth in his statement. I used profanity when I couldn’t or wouldn’t find the words to express my true feelings. It always put Sam on the defensive and made things worse. Just taking every nasty word I wouldn’t use in daily conversation out of an argument diffused it quite a bit.

Next, it was suggested that I look at all the accusations I threw around. YOU, YOU, YOU! If Scott is the only problem in our relationship, then I’m in trouble, because I’ve learned I can’t change him. I can only control my own actions. At first, looking inward was a foreign concept, next to impossible! It was an eye opener to own the harsh nature of my verbal attacks and my insane focus on Scott’s need to change that was fueled by my own self-righteousness. “I was wrong” and “I’m sorry” could be soothing balm for our broken condition, but for years they stayed chained to my pride and ego, never being spoken.

Unresolved anger is the most dangerous marital problem I feel we’ve confronted. It would invariably spin into feelings of hopelessness and thoughts of leaving or divorce. We are both capable of out of control behavior that can do devastating damage. Ironically, handled with some simple tools, we have seen it can be diffused before it escalates. Acknowledging the warning signs of a raised voice, tense muscles or a knot in my stomach, gives me the cue to take a breath, bite my tongue and walk away if necessary. Tabling an issue and making a specific time to talk later, after we’ve had time to cool off and reflect, has saved us from ourselves many times.

We both wanted to communicate our feelings and be heard by the other; but once out of control, our anger made that impossible. One of us may have had a valid concern to begin with, but lacking the skills to communicate effectively would leave us furious. Eventually, the original issue would take a back seat to the unacceptable behavior that overshadowed it. We learned through the pain of failure and the fear of causing irreparable damage that we could not get rid of our anger problem ourselves. Seeking out advice, suggestions and specific tools to apply where our old ways failed were vital steps necessary for making changes.

I am humbled to admit the reality of our past, but I am genuinely proud that we faced our inadequacies and found ways to rise above them. We are and forever will be a work in progress. Knowing positive change is possible, we encourage others to be open to taking the tough steps that can bring peace and contentment back into areas which may seem hopeless. I don’t believe a relationship can maintain itself on a daily basis; we are either building it up or tearing it down. It is a choice; my choice; our choice. We are resigned to the fact that there will always be more for us to learn! But we believe having to rebuild after something is totally demolished is much more difficult than taking care of the required maintenance a day at a time.

A Breastmilk Theory of Love

Does our infant feeding experience affect how we relate to relationships?Is there a template for love laid down in early life that creates unconscious patterns that lead to dysfunctional connections? Hear what a Wholistic Sexuality educator, former nurse-midwife and intimate arts counselor thinks about the deep connections between the breast and the heart.

The Bountiful Breast

Ah, breastmilk, Mother Nature’s most perfect food, the true nectar of the Goddess. Evolution has developed an exquisite arrangement for nurturing young mammals, perfected through millennia. It is an elegantly simple system, based on supply and demand. A human breast is essentially a milk factory. When a baby sucks on the areola of the breast, it stimulates receptors which tell the breast (via the brain) to respond by producing milk. As the infant grows and its caloric needs increase, the baby gets hungrier and sucks more, producing more milk. Despite myths to the contrary, the breast is never empty. There is an endless supply of milk, always as much as a child needs. As long as the system is not interrupted, and the mother is adequately hydrated and nourished, there will always be an abundance of glorious milk.

Magic Milk

Mammalian milk has evolved to meet the highly specific needs of each particular species. Human milk contains the exact nutrients in the perfect balance to grow the complex brains and bodies of our infants. It contains living immune factors to protect the health of the child. It teaches both our immune system and our metabolism how to function properly for the rest of our lifetimes by mechanisms that are still poorly understood. Children who are breastfed for a year (or ideally two or more) suffer from less of every known disease, not just as infants but throughout their entire lifetime.

Relationship 101

Sweet and plentiful breastmilk is the perfect food, always ready, warm and delicious. And it comes in an attractive and time-tested package, that of the woman’s breast, firmly attached to the warm, soft, breathing, pulsating body of the mother. This perfect food is delivered from within the context of the first love relationship that the baby knows. This is how evolution set up the system. When the baby human feels one of its basic needs, that of hunger, the need is met, not with an external object, but by their own personal Beloved. Fed from her warm yielding body, cradled in her strong arms, enveloped in her scent, her loving touch, steadied by her heartbeat and breathing, gazed at by bliss-filled eyes. Ideally, the human need for food is answered in the context of a relationship, by a person, with love.

Sad Stand-in

For those who truly cannot breastfeed, it’s good that we have a substitute that’s at least adequate to prevent significant infant mortality. And, of course, a bottle can be given while the baby is held lovingly in arms. But nothing from a factory can really come close to replicating a system that evolution has perfected.

Unfortunately, many modern industrial culture women believe that they can’t nurse, don’t have enough milk and that their body has failed. The truth is that it is our system that has failed them. In nature, it would be extremely rare for a woman (or any other mammal) to not be able to adequately nourish her child unless she’s starving. In our bottle-feeding culture many women have unsuccessful nursing experiences because the natural process, which certainly begins before and during labor as well as after, has been repeatedly disrupted in multiple ways. The result is that the elegant system is too disturbed to function properly and nursing doesn’t work despite many women’s heroic efforts to fix it. This is more then a shame, this is a tragic epidemic as the dysfunction of this system has so many sad consequences.

The Barren Bottle

Compare the perfect sweetness and ideal nourishment of breastmilk to the synthetic formula given to most of us as children and to many babies even now. Artificial infant formula tastes nasty, like wallpaper paste. It’s often given in a transparent bottle, clearly in a finite amount. When the bottle is empty, that’s it. It’s all gone. There is no more. The need for food is met, not in the context of a warm and loving relationship, from a soft and sensuous mother’s body, but with a ‘thing’, a hard and separate object. This is so removed from the context of relationship that it need not even be given while the child is held. A bottle can be propped up or self-held by an older baby.

Terrible Template

This forms the template for love and attachment that many of us struggle with for the rest of our lives. Is it any wonder that so many people in our culture, as adults, look to consumer goods, to external objects, to satisfy their oh-so-human needs? But more stuff is never enough to really fill those needs. So we go out and buy more stuff, newer stuff, bigger stuff, better, faster, sexier stuff. More, more, more. But it’s really no good. No matter how much we accumulate, objects will never satisfy our needs for love, security and acceptance. Only relationships can do that.

Sick Substitute

Moreover, artificial infant feeding formulas are unhealthy and barely adequate substitutes that can’t come close to Mama Nature’s perfect food. Indeed, they cause innumerable infant health problems, including gastrointestinal distress, allergies, irritability and malaise. Food, nourishment and the associated feeling of love can become deeply connected with feelings of sickness and pain.

Life Lessons

In our first few years we learn some of our most basic life lessons. Is the world a good or bad place? Am I loved? Can I trust that my needs will be met? Is my body a good place to be in? Should we be surprised that so many people have mixed up feelings of love and desire with pain and dysfunction? After all, for most of us our first model of relationship taught us that food and comfort come from an object that is separate from another body. That satisfying our hunger is likely to make us feel uncomfortable and even ill. We learned that nourishment is finite in amount and unpleasant tasting to boot. It’s no wonder that we feel that love is a limited commodity with only so much to go around. It’s not surprising that we can’t get comfortable and form trusting relationships with others. Is that why it’s so hard for some people to receive pleasure? Scarcity consciousness and bottle-fed limits are deeply ingrained templates. Bottle-contained artificial infant formula, unsatisfying, toxic, and unpalatable has confused us about the nature of love.

If we’d had our needs met, completely and efficiently, with love, security and nourishment all coming together from the abundant breast of a loving mama-would it be easier as adults to form secure and trusting love relationships? To not be possessive and jealous? To trust in the abundance of love and that our beloved(s) will be there when we need them? To be able to receive pleasure? I believe this is true.

Reframing Scarcity and Embracing Abundance

For myself, I’m trying to re-frame my beliefs about love and attachment, about scarcity and abundance, from a breastmilk perspective. It’s remedial education, to be sure. It’s a process that requires practice and repetition to succeed at changing (or at least influencing) such old core beliefs. I’m rethinking love, in the breast-milk model. I’m granting myself my denied birthright, reminding myself, over and over, and over again that there is an abundance of love, there’s always as much as you need and plenty to go around. And that if you need more, just suck and more will come. The breast is never empty, just like the heart. There is always enough. And my hunger can only truly be satisfied by human relationships, never by things. True milk, like true love is plentiful and nourishing, never finite or toxic. And it tastes really, really good.

No wonder the breasts are right over the heart. It is where love comes from. Endlessly, without limits, because the breast is never empty and the heart can always give more love.

Stages of Relationships

In this short article I would like to discuss with you the subject of men: how to understand and deal with them, and how to live with them. In another article coming soon, I will look at women, and how to have a good, solid relationship with the female of the species.

Let us talk about the stages of relationships to start with. You may have noticed that the above title is backwards. The proper stages of relationships that you should follow are Understanding Men, Love, and then perhaps Marriage.

Men (and women) are complex, ever-changing things that you cannot hope to ever fully understand, and then relax. It is a continuous work in progress to watch him, figure him out (but not psych him out!), think, note his likes, dislikes, reactions, level of maturity, and so on. Of course, he should be doing the same for you. This will make for a harmonious, happy relationship.

Women want a man who is strong, confident and mature. So while you are dating, observe closely. Is he spoiled? Selfish? Does he sometimes let his guard down and act like a little boy? Perhaps it was disguised as a joke, but watch out. It can take a year or more of frequent dating before the real nature and temperament of your partner emerges.

It is worth remembering as well that men can be just as vulnerable and emotional as women. Men know they are supposed to be strong and supportive. But sometimes they need help too. Needing or asking for help is not a sign of weakness, or a character defect. On the contrary, it shows a good level of adult maturity, to know when to ask for help and not be ashamed of it.

You know very well that you should not stay with a man who abuses you. I do not need to tell you that, I hope! But what about the guy who is a little more crafty, and not so obvious? Does your man constantly criticize you and put you down, especially in front of family and friends? You may think this behavior is foolish and sad, and just tolerate it.

However, there is more to it than that. It is in fact, a large red flag being waved in your face, so do not dismiss it. A man who behaves in this manner is chock full of insecurities and emotional problems. He is dumping his issues on you because you are handy and convenient, and usually will not fight back. In this way, he escapes having to actually deal with these problems himself.

As an aside, fighting back vigorously in such a situation might make you feel better, but it will only make things worse. This man needs to see a counselor or psychologist quick, and get straightened out, if possible. You cannot do this yourself unless you actually are a psychologist yourself, and maybe not even then, so do not try.

The important point is, a man who often acts in an abusive, childish or emotionally immature manner is damaged goods. Steer clear and find someone else, before you find yourself accepting the blame for his problems and getting messed up yourself. He wants you to feel as bad about yourself as he feels about himself.

If you stay in such a relationship, he will succeed. You will soon feel guilty and inadequate, and lack confidence in yourself, for all the wrong reasons. Or, actually, for no reason at all. Put some effort into watching your man in the first few months of your relationship. Think carefully and remember what happens. There are always warning signs in a bad relationship, sooner rather than later.

Do not ignore them, thinking they will go away. They will not. On the contrary, they will usually get worse with time. To achieve a happy ending, you must go through the stages of relationships in their proper order. Understanding should come first, no matter how madly in love with him you are.

You know very well that most folks are on their best behavior in the early stages of love and dating. Do not be in too much of a rush to get married or move in with him. She who hesitates is sometimes saved. Be patient and become a keen observer with a sharp memory. It will pay off bigtime in the long run.

Secrets of How to Revitalize Your Relationship

These are many people out there who are looking to find ways to give a new lease of life to their relationships. They know their relationship can receive a shot in the arm as it were. They know they can do something to breathe life into the relationship. But somehow, they do not know exactly what to do.

We are not trying to give simplistic answers to complex human issues. We realize there are more intricate issues in relationship that require professional management. But here, we will provide you with some workable answers to some common everyday issues of relationship.

The first secret is to love your partner. I can hear someone say, ‘if I didn’t love him or her why am I in the relationship in the first place?’ you’re right; but not so fast. Loving your partner is so obvious that it’s like pointing to a rainbow and telling someone that the rainbow is multicolored. Although to love a partner may appear obvious, it’s usually not so obvious as we think. If you love someone, you’ll believe him or her. That goes for anything he or she may say, even if you think or believe otherwise inside of you. If you love someone, you’ll accept the person. Acceptance here does not necessarily mean you approve of what he or she does or privy to it. If you love someone you’ll be proud of that person. If you love someone you’ll respect that person. If you love someone, you’ll love what he or she loves–pet habit not implied. From the foregoing you’ll see that loving a partner is more than a mere show of outward affection.

Endeavor to love your partner the way he/she is. You are to try to love the person of your partner. In order words, do not try to love them for what they represent, what they have, what they can do, or for what you think they’re capable of doing in future. Neither should you love them for what they could or could not be in future. This is a spurious expectation that may have the chances of fulfillment or non-fulfillment.

At first the idea of loving someone for who they are can seem daunting or outright fearful. Are we suggesting we walk in a blind alley? Certainly not. Although journeying through life is more or less like the dreaded blind alley walk. Incidentally, we even run in blind alley all the time. As you might have found out, few things in life are that certain or predictable. Relationship is ‘happily’ one of the many unpredictables.

Steps to a Good Relationship

Do you need to find a few steps to a good relationship? Have you been casually dating for a long time, but with steps to a good relationship you’d be able to turn that into a commitment? Have you been dumped so many times, you just know you have to find steps to a good relationship before you even try to hook up with another guy?

Most people just dive into a relationship without a clue how love, romance and commitment work. We just kind of muddle our way through it hoping things will work out for the best.

For the most part, things don’t work out at all. If you want a better chance at making something out of your next romance, read these steps to a good relationship.

Honestly

Look around and you’ll probably find a lot of tricky ways to trap a guy. Embellishments, fibs and outright lies are often suggested into order to make the guy think he’s dating someone who doesn’t even exist.

Honestly? How can you hope to build a strong relationship based on lies?

If you do choose to fib, make sure it’s about something trivial and inconsequential. Hiding something, like the fact that you don’t want children when you know very well that he does can be a disaster.

Mutual Respect

If you really want this relationship to go in the right direction, remember to maintain a high level of respect for him. It’s so easy to lapse into a war of words over everything and anything and the constant bickering can take its toll.

Once you realize you’re in love with this man, continue to show it.

Basic Commonalities

Many couples try to convince themselves that their love will carry them through any and all problems, including basic differences in one another. Certain differences work out great, they’re even welcomed. These are the cases in which you could say one mate completes the other.

He’s outspoken where she’s timid. He’s a great cook, while she’s loves to do laundry. He would spend every red penny until they lost everything if it wasn’t for her wise money sense. These couples blend together well and make for strong unions.

But if you love the country while he feels invigorated by the city, or if family is vitally important to you, but he wants no kids at all, there’s little chance your relationship will survive.

More often than not, the person asked to make the huge sacrifice ends up resenting it and the relationship fizzles out.

Keep it Hot

Couples who’ve been together for a long time and still thrive will tell you that they keep their sex life fun and exciting. Whether it’s through games, dressing up, playing roles or making movies, they’re constantly conscience of the importance sex plays in the relationship.

It’s not a simple matter of sexual satisfaction, which is important in itself, but it’s also the intimate connection; everything that leads up to sex and everything that follows it.

Don’t neglect this important aspect of your romance.