Monthly Archives: August 2018

Rebound Relationships

Is your ex dating someone else after you just broke up? The fact is, your ex is trying to get over you and not deal with the emotions of the break up.They are trying to forget about the real love. This is one of those times when love really stinks.

The rebound relationship is often used to try and deal with losing someone that they really love. Does it matter who’s fault it was? Or why? Does it matter who put an end to the relationship? I don’t think so. What really matters is the true love between you.

Relationships that are founded on true love have the ability to be saved.

Most often, if an ex is in a rebound relationship they are focusing on what went wrong with your relationship. They will try to have a “reverse relationship”. What?….If your a nice person, they will probably spend time with someone who is opposite. If you are into sports or “Desperate House Wives”, they will probably attach themselves to someone that into computers or someone that loves “The Sound Of Music”.

Here’s the opportunity. Your ex is focusing attention on you and you are now able to determine what your ex is looking for. Otherwise, if your ex is with someone completely different then you, there must be something missing in your own relationship. Find out what it is and you will find the way to get your ex back.

More than likely your ex will find that the re bounder has flaws and will recall the many reasons why they are in love with you. You have to give it time. TIME…….that’s another one for Love Stinks. Let the ex develop the memories and missing the great things in the relationship.

At this point you have to be cautious. When the opportunity comes back at you, don’t immediately jump on top of it.

· Don’t try to convince your ex that you are the love of her life. Let them discover this on themselves.
· Don’t apologize over and over. Your ex already know why reason for loving you.
· Promising to change is a big mistake. Your ex is in love with who you are.
· Don’t even bring up the subject of who’s fault the break up was. Pure waste of energy and time.
· If you beg your ex to take you back, you should probably get that tattoo on your forehead that says “STUPID”.

Interracial Relationships

Can Interracial relationships work? Can you escape being called racial slurs at least once during the relationship? Will it always be considered Taboo? I do not know the answer to all questions that arise from interracial relationships. However, i do know that interracial relationships can work. My personal experiences have amounted to momentary failures that have yielded lifetime lessons. I have looked back on them, and I have come up with a few tips and a little bit of encouragement.

I grew up in a little city named Dyersburg,Tennessee. There was one huge high school where all manners or races and religions attended. The south is not historically thought of as forward and progressive, but there is no other choice but to progress when the entire population is taught on one accord. Naturally, there were a number of barriers that divided genders and races. None of them were enough to blockade the wonderful process of socialization. I found out that the socialization part was critical. It really separated me from the pack later. I was a young black man who appreciated teenage hormones and the Baskin’s Robbins like environment (Multiple Flavors) of girls.

People often grow up with an ignorance of other races. Therefore, many stick close to their own race. They fear what their parents and friends may say, as well as the fear of the unknown. I liked only black girls, until middle school. I was not dating white girls because I did not know how. How do you tell your mom that your friend is white after hearing a ton of white jokes over the years? It can be a confusing and risky task that some do not want to engage. As a result, I went through middle school and high school dating great black chicks and everyone else was off limits, due to self-imposed and society imposed ignorance. I missed out on the friendship of a bunch of potential girls of other races. There were many cute white chicks whom I could still name. There were beautiful Indian girls, Asian girls, and races of girls that I had no clue about. I left Dyersburg with small crushes that shall never be known.

I dated the first white friend ever while in college. Maybe I should not use the term dated. It was a fun fling, and the result of a drinking game called questions. She was nowhere near as pretty as the girls from Dyersburg. She was simply the answer to my curiosity. Many can relate to this part of the story. TIP: Protect yourself when satisfying your promiscuous curiosity. The only thing that I learned from that episode was that someone from another race could actually be affectionate and attracted to me. It felt gratifying and empowering. The whole world opened to me. I did not know if someone really beautiful could like me, but I now knew that there was no secret code that said ignore the other race.

I later dated a reasonably attractive white woman who really liked me. She helped me to break many molds. I was 5 feet and 6 inches standing next to her at 5 feet 8 inches. That let me know that I could date white and taller. She had the great body black men love. She was thick. Contrary to popular belief, many of us like symmetrical women. This woman was very balanced. She became more than lust. She was so awesome and cool, that it became alarming to me. She laughed at my jokes, she cooked for me, she was sexy, and sexually giving. She was intellectually compatible and culturally connective. I felt myself on the verge of falling in love and it scared me. Again, I wondered what would people say if I were married to a white woman, and one who I had to look up to! She respected me greatly, but I let her down. It was my first huge lesson in fear of the unknown and ignorance of life. I backed away, and I never saw her again after Navy boot camp.

I went to Japan while in the US Navy. I was really not feeling interracial and international relationships. It would have been the double whammy. I was ignorant of seemingly every race and culture. I scared and scarred myself back into only black relationships because it seemed safe. TIP:This is a common mistake. I began a new world-wide education on women, life, races, and culture. I learned so much, that it even helped me to become less homophobic. I had respected friends from every walk of life, and multiple nations. This helped me to develop a respect for the heart of a person. Every woman became potentially beautiful in my eyes again. I dated a few Japanese girls in my home port of Yokosuka, Japan. I eventually found a diamond in the rough. She was really cute and super loyal. She was very cool and often witty. We developed a great relationship over a two and a half-year period. We went everywhere, and did everything together like twins.

Again, I broke someone’s heart because of fear, ignorance, and maybe selfishness. I actually loved her, and still allowed myself to leave at the end of my Navy contract. She was a little insanely jealous. However, that should not have been enough to give up on us. I went back to the United States, and we agreed to keep in touch. That never quite worked out because I wound up marrying someone else. I moved on, but it never would have happened if it were not for fear and ignorance. I did learn the lesson of a life time. It was at the expense of another person’s heart and many hard days for me during the growth process.Lessons were learned.

How does a person overcome these obstacles? Let me help. The very first thing that a person has to do is be culturally socialized. A person should be a student of the other person’s culture. If I respected my dear friend enough, I should have learned the culture, the language, and the lady. This is one of the top thought processes to overcome interracial challenges. If you do not devote yourself to this study, offense is inevitable.It took me a long time to learn, but I learned that there are many great women underneath the outer layer called skin. There are scholars, politicians, educators, innovators, and genuinely awesome women who simply wanted to be loved 100% of the time and lusted after at least 50% of the time. They want to be appreciated. Forget about their skin when it comes to loving them. This applies to both genders.

The number one reason that interracial couples fail is the lack of understanding of love. They say love never fails. It is only true when there is a proper understanding of love. Love is dying to self for the benefit of another. Kill your own selfish desires, and set them aside for the benefit of another. This is love that can never fail because you are always in charge of not allowing it to fail. It has nothing to do with race and every thing to do with sacrifice. It is not just interracial couples, but all sorts of couples who never get that. The hard knowledge obtained in life has given me the opportunity to be successful as a relationship expert, but the road to wisdom was not user-friendly. Take my advice and see love prosper and be fruitful.

Just a review of the most important things:

  • A person should become a student of the other person’s culture.
  • Forget about the skin when it comes to loving people.
  • Love can not fail if you properly define it and act upon it.

Discover How to Empathize to Men and Relationships

Books and articles about how to love your man are everywhere. If you truly want to make your boyfriend happy, the key is to understand men and relationships. While women are seen as the more sentimental partner, know that men have feelings, too. Children have been socialized based on society’s views that men have learned to suppress their emotions to become more “masculine.”

This article contains tips on how to empathize with men and how to develop a healthy relationship.

Acceptance

The first step at empathizing with your boyfriend is accepting him for who he is, even if he has flaws and annoying habits. Accepting him for who he is means recognizing and understanding all his strengths, weaknesses, and flaws. Once you’ve done this, you’ll be able to see things from his perspective.

Unconditional love is the best kind of love you can give anyone. When you love your partner despite his faults, you will be able to provide the love he has been longing for.

Place Yourself in His Shoes

When your boyfriend is in a bad spot, it’s not easy to give advice, especially when you don’t see the other side or the whole picture. Instead, imagine what he’s going through and ask yourself what you’d do in his circumstance. It’s okay to give your say, but become a listening ear as well. Be encouraging as much as possible.

Be Sensitive to His Moods

Tact is the word. Don’t just prattle on thinking that he won’t be offended with your words, whether you’re having a tiff or not. Also, beware when talking about yourself to no end. It’s pointless to talk if he has “switched off” and doesn’t want to listen anymore.

Give Him Some Space

Sometimes, it’s better to not talk at all or communicate at a later time. Don’t be afraid to ask your boyfriend if he needs some space. Some men aren’t blunt about telling you that they need time to be with themselves. If things aren’t looking very well, offer some space. This way, both of you will be able to sort things out.

Be Thoughtful and Sweet

Any guy would easily fall for a girl, that can sweetly charm her way to his heart. Most men look forward to coming home to a sweet partner after a bad day. Comfort him and show him that you care.

Love Means Having To Say You Are Sorry

SORRY…A single word with five letters but very difficult to speak. Why? Why is it that most of us find it difficult at times to say a sorry! It takes courage to accept your mistake and say a “sorry”. All of us makes mistake, as we all are humans. No one can get away without making mistakes. We make mistakes and we learn from our mistakes but at times we make such mistakes that hurt others. We cannot undo what we have done but make it up with a single word SORRY and we are sooner or later forgiven for our blunder. But then why do we find it so difficult.

It all depends on our thinking our humility and the sense of right and wrong. Many of us feel insulted to say that we are sorry because of our ego. It is because we are self-centered people and do not think otherwise. We are engrossed in ourselves and hardly bother about others, our dear ones and our family. Come out of this “I” and “only me” and see the world changed around you. It feels good to say sorry and make your loved one smile.

When two people come together they talk, they love, they share and care but at the same time they do come in conflict or argument with each other. It is very natural and a part of our existence. If we agree on certain opinions at times we will definitely disagree on some other points. It is just impossible not to come in conflict or argument with your spouse. The important point here is not the argument or conflict you have but the aftermaths of it. An argument does not mean everything has ended. It is a part of life; w e should learn to cope up with it. Whenever you come into an argument or conflict with each other never fail to apologize if it is you who is the cause of conflict. Whoever is on the wrong should say sorry and with meaning. If possible try not letting the argument come to an extreme where it gets difficult to handle the situation. Say you are sorry before that. Many times while arguing or quarreling we realize our mistake and out of the self esteem in us find it difficult to apologize. This should never happen. If you are on the wrong never take time to say you are sorry. It will help your relationship to be a happy and long lasting one.

If you love your partner then learn to say sorry. Love means having to say sorry. If you want your relationship to be long lasting then learn to accept your mistakes and say sorry for the mistake made by you. It is hard but not impossible to say you are sorry. Have that courage in you to accept your mistake and say sorry and say it immediately before situations get worse. Be prompt and never hesitate to accept your fault and apologize. Feel good not bad to apologize. After all it takes courage to accept your mistake and should feel good about it.